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Even in the afterlife, you're a douchebag. Uh, I'll call B. They ain't gettin' in! You did it because you're a whore, you forgot because you're stupid. You're gonna have to work. I just hope that when parents let their kids run around in 24 jerseys, they have the decency to say: You aren't in heaven, you're in hell.

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The worst day of fishing is better than the best day at work.

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The national anthem blows. That can be our field. I've never once been at work, capsized in a 40 degree water, watched all my co-workers die, and be like, "Hey, at least we're fucking fishin'. Well, every time you hit 'A,' it's 'Asian ass porn. Well, every time you hit 'A,' it's 'Asian ass porn. You wanna tap that? You're gonna have to work.

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